MORE DEAD PET STORIES. ALSO I HAD EYE SURGERY.

I JUST HAD CATARACT SURGERY IN MY RIGHT EYE.  LEFT EYE IS IN TWO WEEKS.  I'M TYPING IN ALL CAPS BECAUSE I CAN SEE THREE STREETS OVER WITH MY NEW IMPLANT, NOT BOOB, LENS, BECAUSE BOOBS DON'T NEED TO SEE, ALTHOUGH IT MIGHT BE HELPFUL.  LIKE EXTRA SECURITY, AND MY LEFT EYE CAN SEE ONLY 3 INCHES.       BECAUSE OF THE SURGERY I HAVE TO WEAR A PLASTIC CUP OVER MY RIGHT EYE AT BEDTIME.  WHICH I MUST SAY IS QUITE SEXY.  IF YOU LIKE NEARSIGHTED PIRATES THAT LOOK LIKE THEY HAVE AN ATHLETIC SUPPORTER TAPED TO THEIR FOREHEAD.  MAYBE THAT'S YOUR THING.    I FEEL I'M MISSING SOMETHING, ONE OF MY "FRIENDS" SUGGESTED A PARROT.  THANK YOU BECKY.  WHICH REMINDED ME OF ANOTHER ONE OF MY LESS THAN SUCCESSFUL PET STORIES.  I'M GLAD MY CURRENT PETS DON'T HAVE ACCESS TO THE INTERNET.  I'M SURE THEY'D RUN AWAY.

YEARS AGO, I HAD A PARAKEET NAMED BEETHOVEN.  I LOVED THAT PARAKEET.  NOT AT DAYBREAK.  I HATED HIM THEN.  CHIRPY LITTLE BASTARD.  HE FOLLOWED ME ALL OVER THE HOUSE, MOSTLY HE WALKED ON THE FLOOR TO PROVE A POINT.  I HAD TO KEEP HIS NAILS CLIPPED BECAUSE HE'D GET CAUGHT IN THE SHAG CARPET AND COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR LACK OF DECORATING STYLE.  WE'D WATCH BARETTA TOGETHER AND HE'D COMMENT ON FRED'S OVERACTING.  ( GOOGLE IT) .    ONE MORNING I LOOKED IN BEETHOVEN'S CAGE AND HE WASN'T THERE.  I COULDN'T FIND HIM ANYWHERE.  JUST VANISHED.  I WAS SO SAD.  LATER, I SAT DOWN ON THE COUCH TO KNIT.  AS THE YARN MADE IT'S WAY TOWARDS MY KNITTING NEEDLES THERE WAS A HUGE CLUMP IN THE YARN.  THAT STUPID BIRD HAD CRAWLED INTO MY KNITTING BAG AND DIED.  NOW I WAS SAD AND HORRIFIED OF YARN CRAFTS.  

IT WAS DIFFICULT TO KNIT AROUND HIM BUT I MANAGED.

HE WAS A SARCASTIC BUDGIE.

LESS CHIRPY.  IN MEMORY OF BEETHOVEN.