They are not chocolate. They are imposters, posers, pretenders. Why do they exist? Everytime I eat one I am severely disappointed. I want them to taste like chocolate.........they LOOK like chocolate.......they almost SMELL like chocolate. It has a really seductive name , RED VELVET, it just rolls off the tongue, RED VELVET. Now that I think about it it sounds like a bad vampire porn film. Which leads to the question are there good vampire porn films? If it weren't for the cream cheese frosting they'd have no value whatsover. (not the vampire porn the cupcake although if I were a vampire I'd still eat cream cheese ) Red Velvet cupcakes take up space in the bakery, important space better served by real cupcakes, like chocolate or dark chocolate or devil's food, or even german chocolate. Anything but red velvet.
I think it's a conspiracy to trick us into trying carob.
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