The bad news was there was a high probability for a significant concentration of crazy in a small confined area. Jerry Springer's guests have little on my family. And I wasn't disappointed. What is it about weddings, funerals and Thanksgiving that make people lose their minds?
I left home in 1983 and never went back for a reason. My mother who had her own issues to battle had perfected her ability to smother a flame by sucking all the oxygen out of a room by sheer will. She had so much time and energy invested in being a victim she was not about to give it up or let anyone around her break free either. For most of my life I thought it was just her then after she died I went back to visit thinking the coast was clear only to encounter the mothership had landed and taken root years earlier in the form of her mother and siblings. Bill said it was like walking into a vacuum or black hole. The amount of negativity under one roof made you question your will to live. Or your will to let any of them to live .
And when I say it was "good" news I mean my grandmother was 97 years old and ready to go. She was tired. She had lived a long life of caring for many other family members thru the years and was worn out. The last year had been really difficult as she was still fiercely independent. My aunt was suppose to be taking care of her. We discovered ( we being another cousin and my sister who reside in KC) that my aunt was not doing that. And with much difficulty , and meetings and consulting with my grandmother when said aunt was out of earshot we ( mostly cousin and sister) were able to get grandma to a secure setting in assisted living to meet her needs.
This did not go well with the aunt . Mostly because the aunt has been living off the retirement and pension checks of my grandmother. And also because this meant we would need to sell the house as directed by my grandmother. And so we've had to start legal proceedings to get her out of the house in order to sell it. Btw - apparently she believes if she never opens the envelope she has not been served. And then the ugly set in. or got worse as in this case. ( Lest you think I'm being too harsh my aunt also receives retirement and a pension that she uses to support a family member that injured her back as an ex pole dancer and is now claiming disability. I'd like to see the form she filled out.
How did you injure yourself? ------ Fell off stripper pole.
Is this a work related injury? --------Yes, it is work related
Will you be returning to work? ---------Hell no, not as long as the government foots the bill - woohoo!
Are you possessed by the devil? -------Yes, but that's not work related.
This particular relative, (God help me) has managed to scare the crap out of my elder relatives by memorizing the entire book of Revelations and terrorizing them with End of Times stories.
I am not making this up.
It's very difficult to get a mother to speak against her adult child even in an abusive situation. Which really was the situation with my grandmother and aunt. And even more difficult to get outside help. Especially across state lines. And it's harder still to look your aunt in the eyes and know that this is NOT the same person you knew as a child. But what can you do.......not a darn thing.
And now the aunt and her puppet master the pole dancer are furious and vindictive. And chose grandma's funeral to come unhinged. Grave side.
The aunt started screaming and pointing her finger at my poor sister who has become her target of choice the last year or so.
It was surreal. I was dumbfounded. My sister just turned away and went to her car. My aunt headed towards me and I held up my hand and shook my head . All I could manage was "I'm not doing this here, Bill unlock the car." and I left. Still holding the flowers I had picked up to put on my grandmothers casket.
And then we said we needed to go home. Drove three exits , got a hotel room, watched the Olympic Games Opening Ceremonies. And had a beer. I told Bill I just couldn't believe what had happened. He said he couldn't believe I believed it might be a normal funeral. He said you can't out think crazy. Crazy will just suck you into it's vortex and beat the life out of you. I think it just pisses me off to be continually shocked at the level of crazy they can stoop to.
Also I'm considering a full blood transfusion. I don't mind being crazy in the good sense of the word but batshit crazy is not my idea of a good time.
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| soothing sounds of nature |
And another thing - if you're not going to carry out the person's last wishes LIKE bury me in a blue dress, seriously, how hard it that?! What the heck? I think I'll just wander off somewhere like the elephants do to die. They buried her in white pajamas. WHITE PAJAMAS! Never once did she say bury me in pajamas. She still got her hair done weekly , her nails done, her teeth fixed ---does that sound like a woman that wants to be buried in pajamas? This same group did the same crap when my mom died. She didn't even want a funeral. Not only did they have a funeral it was open casket. AND because my mother liked nature so much they played the sounds of eagles screaming instead of hymns over the speakers during the service. Nothing like the screech of a predatory bird overhead as you mourn the loss of a loved one. SCREEEEECHHHH SCREEECHHHH. I couldn't keep a straight face the entire service.
The flowers are on my kitchen table.
Check on your grandma and grandpa - make sure they are safe from their own loving relatives. Especially if any of them are angry ex-pole strippers. I'm tired now. Thanks for letting me get that out of my system.
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