PTSD

 I have it. Every morning. With a cup of coffee. Post Toaster Stress Disorder.
 Yes it's real. No matter WHAT the Blue Cross rep says.

In my kitchen lurks the most unreliable appliance known to man , the toaster. Whoever was responsible for quality control the day this toaster came off the line should be shot on sight. He should be tarred and feathered.  I have toast issues.


"Beelzebub"

 Is it too much to ask that the toaster adhere to its own code - one dot - light brown ,two dots - golden brown ,three dots -med golden brown , four dots - nutmeg brown, five dots -charred beyond recognition (call in for dental records) ?

 My toaster,  Beelzebub, only knows dot 5 results no matter the setting. And I suspect it's intentional. And apparently I am the only one in the family that it wars with. My husband thinks I am incapable of using it correctly. But I've seen the way it looks at me - it hates me.
And at the risk of sounding prejudiced, it's not just this toaster ......it's been the last five. Good toasters do exist, I've experienced toaster perfection , usually at vacation rentals - driven almost to the point of stealing those toasters and leaving a " your unit was missing a toaster " note - but I'd hate to be denied entrance to Heaven based on a pilfered toaster. Because I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be sorry.