Couch Conversations

A conversation that took place last month.

A commercial showing a guy fly fishing comes on TV.

Me: I'd love to do that, Bill we should go fly fishing!

Laughter breaks out from my son and daughter.

Me: hey, I can fish.

Katie: I've heard you can skin a squirrel too.

Andrew: poor Dad, he's going to be getting hooked, literally. 

Me: I CAN FISH.  As long as there are no snakes.  Do you think there'll be snakes?  We should just go when it's cold so there won't be snakes.

Andrew:  What about bears? 

Me: Bears? Will there be bears? .  I could shoot a bear, but not with a pistol I heard those just piss them off.  I'll need something bigger. 

Andrew: This isn't looking good for Dad. 

Me: I wouldn't shoot Dad.

Bill: Not on purpose. 

Me: NOT AT ALL, I CAN FISH AND SHOOT. 

Andrew:  Better make sure your insurance policy is paid up.

Me: What are you doing over there?
Andrew:  Tweeting.  Hey Mom, you're trending.
Me: Trending what?
Andrew:  Sh*t my mom says.
Me:  I hate bears.