Once the relationship took an ugly turn with the Spanx incident I decided to seek solace by having a manicure.( Seriously Pat, you don't remember me ?) Well, this was more a preemptive strike against the sure onslaught of "MOM, you NEED to have your nails done BEFORE the wedding!" After work I ran over to the local nail salon. It was late and I was the only patron there. I don't have my nails done on a regular basis, in fact I can't remember ......oh, wait, yes I do, it was last Thanksgiving and I got a lot of flak from my son because I had acrylic nails and they were really long and very red and I can't repeat what he said they reminded him of. And then another discussion ensued over his opinion not being needed SINCE I couldn't get them off by that time. Sadly his opinion was confirmed by his sister whose fashion sense I trust infinitely more than his. Which is why I text her photos of me in clothing or shoes BEFORE purchasing. And you may remember how well THAT worked when trying to purchase the DAMN DRESS with a broken arm. If not refer to the earlier post called "The middle part".
"Justin" did my nails. After confirming that Justin was NOT his real name, because I ask the hard questions, he convinced me that he could make my feet look just as gorgeous. We shared a laugh. Then he said he was serious. And I was tired. And the large comfy chair with swirling water was so so inviting. And so I said yes, but I did apologize in advance for any seizures looking at my toes might cause him and the fact that I had not shaved my legs as this was completely unplanned. His reply " No worries, I don't care about your legs, maam." and I said "Justin" I'm Kelly and that is my real name."
The chair is a little intimidating, it's tricky to get in it without falling into the swirling water. I confirmed with "Justin" that people had fallen in before. I'm kind of like an investigative reporter about crap no one cares about. ( this fact was confirmed by almost everyone I live with, including the cat. ). I sat in the chair and he pointed at things he wanted me to do like put my foot here, move my other foot there, I think it was to avoid further conversation, but whatever. And then he turned on the chair. Hmm, this is nice. Vibrating up my back and neck. Then the chair started moving toward him, suddenly I felt like I was about to have a gynecological exam against my will, this happened about the time he took a stone thingy and ran it across the bottom of my foot. I burst out laughing and couldn't stop. I'm thinking I am never leaving. At this point I think we're officially engaged based on the proximity of my ......... to his face. I'm talking very little personal space here.
2 hours later....... our relationship ended. I think it's the language barrier. I'll never be able to pronounce his name anyway.
Sidenote : Best manicure and pedicure EVER! Justin is an artist. Seriously though that chair is crossing some line somewhere.
Later my family confirmed this was more useless information. So I have succeeded.
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